Lucky In Love

One of my friends has a wonderful tradition to celebrate her loved ones on their birthdays.  She takes to facebook, and lists her favorite things about that person.  I love it.  We don't honor our loved ones enough like that. Why shouldn't we proclaim the depths of their awesomeness to the whole world?  Or at least to our corner of it?

Today, my husband Andy and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary.  We met at the end of our junior year in high school, and started dating during our senior year.  We were married a week after I graduated college.  I mean,  just look at us...babies!

May 21, 1994

In honor of this day,  I've made a short list of some of my  favorite things about being married to this man.

1). My husband is a grown-up. Evidently, there are guys who experience something called a
"man-cold"?  I've read about men who feign helplessness to get out of performing traditionally female tasks.  I've heard of men who seem perpetually stuck at 12 years old, and are coddled by their wives.  I've never witnessed these things first-hand because I'm married to a grown-up.  Don't get me wrong - you aren't likely to find a bigger goofball than Andy, but he's also a strong, secure, emotionally healthy, got-his-stuff together grown-up.  His legendary togetherness partners nicely with my legendary not-togetherness.

I need my grown-up husband because sometimes I'm a mess.
 Print from The Little Illustrator (Etsy)

2). My husband remembers things. He remembers dates, milestones and moments and then randomly  reminisces about them.  Like what I wore on our first date.  Or how, at three months old,  G.  was exactly the length of his forearm and fit so perfectly there.  Or the very moment he knew our youngest son decided to love him.  I can't think of a single thing that makes me feel more important and loved as his wife than this. 

3). He's predictable in the best sense of the word.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that predictable equals boring in a marriage. If there is a rough patch in life,  it's a guarantee that at some point Andy will kiss my forehead and say, "But we lucky in love, baby!"  If we are having a disagreement, I know he will say, "Never forget that we're on the same team, ok?"  My strong, predictable soft place to land.  Always.

4) He's an extraordinary father.  He would - and actually has -  traveled to the ends of the earth for his family.  He can tell you all about being alone for 36 hours on planes and in airports with a grieving toddler after the adoption of our youngest son.  For many years, Andy worked nights and was the at-home parent during the day for our children.  I worked during the day, and we really had no extra assistance day to day; no daycare, no sitters, no non-working available grandparents.  Andy did it all - doctor appointments, multiple weekly speech, occupational, and auditory verbal therapy appointments for our youngest, library story times, play groups, field trips.  And he did it all with very little sleep and great patience (this is actually when he coined another catchphrase:  "I'll sleep when I'm dead" (always said with a smile :-).  And while today he dispenses both sage and practical advice to his children, he's an even better listener and supporter of their dreams.  He's crafted such a close and beautiful relationship with our sons.  I don't think anything can make you happier as a mother than witnessing that kind of bond between your kids and their Dad. 

3.5 year old G. seeing his Daddy seeing at the airport after Andy's return from Cambodia with baby brother S . One of my favorite pictures of my husband though you can't see his face.  This look doesn't just happen - you earn it by being a very special father.

5)  He's my biggest fan.  I don't entirely get why he believes in me so thoroughly, but he does. I'm pretty sure if I announced today that I wanted to be a rodeo clown, Andy would tell me "That's perfect! You would be the best rodeo clown! What do we have to do to make that happen?"

6)  He really is a goofball, and my favorite friend.  We have a lot of fun together, as a family and as a couple.  Andy enjoys entertaining horrifying the children with his dance moves.  When they were little, he had them convinced that he did not work nights at UPS - he was really The Batman, and the bat cave was hidden in the backyard.  For the last few years, we've driven the boys to summer camp in New Jersey.  This has meant driving 40 hours in less a week - half with kids, and half alone.  Family fun for half that trip - Jen and Andy shenanigans and hijinks for the other half.  When you are married for nearly 20 years and you both look forward to a crazy long time in a car with each other, I guess things are going pretty well.

7)   He still gives me butterflies.   I love the little birthmark under his eye.  And his arms, once poetically described by a stranger as "f*cking Popeye arms".  And that he calls me Jenny sometimes.  And the way he always makes sure my car is filled with gas.  I love the way he plays the Blues on his bass on a Saturday night.  And all of those things listed #1-6?  Super hot.


I know you are totally about to gag now, right?   HA!

We do not have a perfect marriage, and we are not perfect people.  However, I think we are pretty good at loving each other. There are little things that Andy does that make me crazy.  And I am quite certain there are things I do that frustrate him as well.  But we try not to criticize each other.  I know Andy has made us his first priority.   He's made countless sacrifices for us, and the amazing thing is that he doesn't think of any of it as a sacrifice at all. Andy's life for the last 19 years has been a grand gesture of unconditional love, and I appreciate that every day. How can you really wig out about dirty clothes left on the bedroom floor when the big picture is so clear and good?

Next year we will celebrate our 20th Anniversary.   God willing,  it will be on a beach in Mexico with sun, sand, and tasty cocktails. 

A middle-aged couple still going strong. 

Because we lucky in love, baby!

I'm alive! and I have a plan!

It's been almost two months since I've posted to this blog.

Time flies when you're drowning in life!

Well, "drowning" isn't the right word, I guess.  Far too negative.

My cup runeth over!  Life is so very full!  I'm blessed beyond measure!

.......and I'm damn tired, and can't seem to find the time to put away all the laundry!

Spring is a busy season in our family.  Work picks up to a crazy pace for my husband. The kids are involved in a lot of sports and activities (track, multiple soccer teams, hip hop - including recital preparation).  School starts to hit that frenetic pace when every special project, field trip, field day, ceremony is jammed into the fourth quarter.

I love my life.  I love the fullness, and even the craziness at times.  I love that I have two healthy and active kids who embrace trying new things.  But I'm not going to lie - sometimes this fullness makes it very hard for me to slow down enough to focus on my own health and weight loss goals.

First, the good news:  I am a person who works out 4-5x per week.  Period.  It's what I do now, and I find a way to do it no matter what.  I still find this very cool as someone who avoided sweating for the first 38 years of my life.  Lately,  I've had to get serious about shoehorning workouts in wherever I can.   This means running in the neighborhood near the soccer fields while one of the kids is practicing.    Or racing home from work to get to a 4:30pm Jazzercise class, and then racing a child to a 6pm activity while I'm still a sweaty, gross mess.   It's meant a lot more crockpot dinners so that I can run at the time I would normally be preparing dinner.  And it's definitely meant getting up super early on both Saturday and Sunday to work out before starting the day with the family.

My longest run in the last few months.  Slow and steady, and a look at that calorie burn!

Now, for the less than good news:  Diet.  I've been struggling. I've indulged in more processed food.  We've been eating out about once a week - some celebratory meals but mostly due to the busyness of life, and I've been very lax about those meals. We've had a few more at-home cheapo date-nights, and the wine has been flowing as Andy and I have enjoyed binge watching Game of Thrones.  All of those things add up to 5 extra pounds according to my scale.

However, I finally feel back on track with diet.  Meaning it might not be a coincidence that today is the day I'm resurrecting my blog. Ha! I'm pretty excited because I just may have found the perfect approach to long-term health.

Mark Bittman is a food and cooking writer.  His classic book "How to Cook Everything" is one of my favorite cookbooks of all time - although, it's really much more than just a cookbook.  It's the best cooking reference book ever.

Bittman has a new book out based on a diet (lifestyle) philosophy that has worked well for him for weight loss and general health, and it just makes so much sense to me.

A real foodie, Bittman had no interest in giving up animal products forever when his doctor suggested that a vegan lifestyle would benefit him due to his emerging health issues.  Instead, Bittman came up with a simple way to bring much more of the good stuff, and far less of the bad stuff into his daily diet.   Bittman explains that the reason he chose to eat vegan only before 6pm is because dinner tends to be the most social meal, and would be the hardest time to not share the meals he loves with the people he loves.

The premise is simple - before 6pm (really before dinner - the time is arbitrary), Bittman eats no animal products - his diet is consists of fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts and legumes.  He also doesn't eat processed sugar or refined grains before 6pm.   After 6pm, Bittman eats what he wants within reason.  He still tries to greatly limit any processed junk food or alcohol, but will have those things without guilt if he really wants them.


I started the VB6 approach just four days ago, and so far I'm really loving it for many reasons.

1).  I really do enjoy a real food diet, and such a diet is important to me for health, ecological, environmental and even social justice reasons.    This is a great plan if those issues are important to you, too.

2). I enjoy simple rules.   Counting calories, points or carbohydrates really does not work well for me.  I want to eat intuitively, but still need guidelines to help me make better choices.

3). It works with my current lifestyle.  I already eat different breakfasts and lunches than the rest of the family.  With this approach, I can continue to make the dinners my family loves.  The majority of my dinners are based on whole grains, organic vegetables and lean meats, but I also make a mean Sweet and Sour Chicken, and Buffalo Chicken Casserole.  None of that is off-limits in this approach.

4).  It's not pulling any of my emotional triggers. With different approaches, I would feel a lot of guilt and hopelessness if I screwed up (ate something I shouldn't eat).  With this approach, I can't really screw up.  Each day starts anew.  Of course, every day does ;) - but I've tried a lot of diets where it didn't feel that way.  Weight Watchers, for instance, always seemed "One Week At a Time" to me with the focus on weekly meetings and weigh-ins.   If I screwed up one day, I was likely to throw in the towel for the entire week and that could snowball very quickly.  Now that's not Weight Watchers' fault - that's my fault, but it was a problem I consistently had with that program.  With this approach, if I'm a little overindulgent after 6pm - well, I'm back to veganing it up the next morning.  Something just feels good, and self-limiting with this approach.   I'm definitely at the beginning stages of this, but I also don't feel any desire to go crazy at dinner time just because I really can eat whatever I want.  Surprisingly, this plan doesn't make me feel like I need to eat whatever I want.   

Here's an example of what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:  Overnight Refrigerator Oats (Mix 1/4 cup quick cooking oats, 1/2 cup rice milk, handful of blueberries, packet of almonds, 1 tsp chia seeds, dash of cinnamon in mason jar and refrigerate overnight.  In morning, take out of fridge for 30 minutes to take chill off.  Eat and enjoy)

Lunch:   Big Salad (spring mix lettuce, bean sprouts, homemade whole wheat croutons, tomato) with red wine vinegar and oil. 1/4 cup tahini-free hummus and baby carrots.

Snack: grapes

Dinner:  2 cup serving of Mulligatawny Soup (chicken, butter and cream in this soup - all off-limits prior to dinner foods) and Ak-Mak crackers

Snack: 1/2 cup Trader Joe's' Honey Greek yogurt (the best greek yogurt, IMO) and a cup of hot tea.

A pretty satisfying and tasty day of eating!   I'm pretty optimistic about these guidelines, and definitely looking forward to taking off those 5lbs that crept up on me, and then moving forward with my greater goals.   I promise I'll be checking in sooner than two months from now.


Finally, on a totally unrelated note- Gotta share my new favorite running song (although not a new song).  Seriously...add this to your playlist, and fly! I 'm pretty sure I skip and wiggle when this one comes on, but I don't really care.