Lucky In Love

One of my friends has a wonderful tradition to celebrate her loved ones on their birthdays.  She takes to facebook, and lists her favorite things about that person.  I love it.  We don't honor our loved ones enough like that. Why shouldn't we proclaim the depths of their awesomeness to the whole world?  Or at least to our corner of it?

Today, my husband Andy and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary.  We met at the end of our junior year in high school, and started dating during our senior year.  We were married a week after I graduated college.  I mean,  just look at us...babies!

May 21, 1994

In honor of this day,  I've made a short list of some of my  favorite things about being married to this man.

1). My husband is a grown-up. Evidently, there are guys who experience something called a
"man-cold"?  I've read about men who feign helplessness to get out of performing traditionally female tasks.  I've heard of men who seem perpetually stuck at 12 years old, and are coddled by their wives.  I've never witnessed these things first-hand because I'm married to a grown-up.  Don't get me wrong - you aren't likely to find a bigger goofball than Andy, but he's also a strong, secure, emotionally healthy, got-his-stuff together grown-up.  His legendary togetherness partners nicely with my legendary not-togetherness.

I need my grown-up husband because sometimes I'm a mess.
 Print from The Little Illustrator (Etsy)

2). My husband remembers things. He remembers dates, milestones and moments and then randomly  reminisces about them.  Like what I wore on our first date.  Or how, at three months old,  G.  was exactly the length of his forearm and fit so perfectly there.  Or the very moment he knew our youngest son decided to love him.  I can't think of a single thing that makes me feel more important and loved as his wife than this. 

3). He's predictable in the best sense of the word.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that predictable equals boring in a marriage. If there is a rough patch in life,  it's a guarantee that at some point Andy will kiss my forehead and say, "But we lucky in love, baby!"  If we are having a disagreement, I know he will say, "Never forget that we're on the same team, ok?"  My strong, predictable soft place to land.  Always.

4) He's an extraordinary father.  He would - and actually has -  traveled to the ends of the earth for his family.  He can tell you all about being alone for 36 hours on planes and in airports with a grieving toddler after the adoption of our youngest son.  For many years, Andy worked nights and was the at-home parent during the day for our children.  I worked during the day, and we really had no extra assistance day to day; no daycare, no sitters, no non-working available grandparents.  Andy did it all - doctor appointments, multiple weekly speech, occupational, and auditory verbal therapy appointments for our youngest, library story times, play groups, field trips.  And he did it all with very little sleep and great patience (this is actually when he coined another catchphrase:  "I'll sleep when I'm dead" (always said with a smile :-).  And while today he dispenses both sage and practical advice to his children, he's an even better listener and supporter of their dreams.  He's crafted such a close and beautiful relationship with our sons.  I don't think anything can make you happier as a mother than witnessing that kind of bond between your kids and their Dad. 

3.5 year old G. seeing his Daddy seeing at the airport after Andy's return from Cambodia with baby brother S . One of my favorite pictures of my husband though you can't see his face.  This look doesn't just happen - you earn it by being a very special father.

5)  He's my biggest fan.  I don't entirely get why he believes in me so thoroughly, but he does. I'm pretty sure if I announced today that I wanted to be a rodeo clown, Andy would tell me "That's perfect! You would be the best rodeo clown! What do we have to do to make that happen?"

6)  He really is a goofball, and my favorite friend.  We have a lot of fun together, as a family and as a couple.  Andy enjoys entertaining horrifying the children with his dance moves.  When they were little, he had them convinced that he did not work nights at UPS - he was really The Batman, and the bat cave was hidden in the backyard.  For the last few years, we've driven the boys to summer camp in New Jersey.  This has meant driving 40 hours in less a week - half with kids, and half alone.  Family fun for half that trip - Jen and Andy shenanigans and hijinks for the other half.  When you are married for nearly 20 years and you both look forward to a crazy long time in a car with each other, I guess things are going pretty well.

7)   He still gives me butterflies.   I love the little birthmark under his eye.  And his arms, once poetically described by a stranger as "f*cking Popeye arms".  And that he calls me Jenny sometimes.  And the way he always makes sure my car is filled with gas.  I love the way he plays the Blues on his bass on a Saturday night.  And all of those things listed #1-6?  Super hot.


I know you are totally about to gag now, right?   HA!

We do not have a perfect marriage, and we are not perfect people.  However, I think we are pretty good at loving each other. There are little things that Andy does that make me crazy.  And I am quite certain there are things I do that frustrate him as well.  But we try not to criticize each other.  I know Andy has made us his first priority.   He's made countless sacrifices for us, and the amazing thing is that he doesn't think of any of it as a sacrifice at all. Andy's life for the last 19 years has been a grand gesture of unconditional love, and I appreciate that every day. How can you really wig out about dirty clothes left on the bedroom floor when the big picture is so clear and good?

Next year we will celebrate our 20th Anniversary.   God willing,  it will be on a beach in Mexico with sun, sand, and tasty cocktails. 

A middle-aged couple still going strong. 

Because we lucky in love, baby!