Fall Down 7 Times, Stand Up 8

Oh yes, I can.

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down
And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground
Get up now!

Get up!

Get up now!

-Imagine Dragons "On Top of The World"

In the last six months of 2013, I regained 25 of the 72 lbs that I had lost in the previous 2.5 years.

That looks as ugly in print as it sounds in my head.

Of course,  I have many excuses.  Failing with my marathon training last year really messed with my head and put me in a downward spiral.  I was very busy and stressed with family issues during the fall.  Though I never stopped running and working out, I got lazy with it as the pounds piled up and it became more difficult. And the truth of the matter is that you really can not outrun a poor diet.  During the holiday season, I seemed to be on a "Leaving Las Vegas" style quest to do myself in with the worst diet imaginable.

It was not looking good, my friends.  But then I got angry.   I've worked far too hard to throw away all of the progress and healthy habits I've made....and  for what?....failed marathon dreams? being consumed by and unable to healthily cope with my first world problems? being too lazy to plan ahead?   That's a big pile of self-indulgent bullshit.

So we're done with that.

Since the beginning of the year, I'm down 6.8lbs, and have some firm plans in place to keep moving forward.  I can reach my ultimate goals this year, and I will.  It's time.

•  I've rejoined Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers and I go way back.  And as much as I want to think I'm some badass Lone Wolf  with all the answers and self-sustainable motivation,  it's simply not true.  Weight Watchers offers a specific plan, accountability and support.  I need it, so I'm taking it.

• Refocusing on clean eating.  I was REALLY off track with this, and I can't tell you how much my body is thanking me now that I'm back to eating a mostly clean diet (no fast food, no highly processed food, no HFCS, cutting way back on refined sugar with the hope of eliminating entirely).   I am not all the way there yet, especially with white bread, pasta and rice - but I will get there.  

•  Relying on my friends and family.  I've rallied my troops. I'm blessed with great family and friends.  We share our struggles and victories and lend support to each other. I'm checking in with running friends, workout friends, food-struggling friends on a regular basis.  I'm even making some new friends.  I've been assigned to mentor someone in my employer's "New Year, New Me" Challenge.  This means someone who is just starting her weight loss/running journey is depending on ME to set a good example and show her the ropes. That will keep me honest!

• I'm developing a running plan.   During the dark days of 2013, I learned how important it is for me to be working a training plan towards a specific race and goal.   When I'm following a plan, I'm fully committed.  If a plan tells me, "Run 5 miles at race pace" then by golly, I will do it.  Left to my own vague plan, I will easily skip or reduce runs.  Maybe that wont be the case one day, but for now it is.   My 2014 race schedule so far:  
•  Chili Bowl Classic 5K (2/15)
•  St. Malachi 5 mile race (3/5)
•  Cleveland 10 Miler (4/26) 
•  Rite Aid Half Marathon (5/18). 
•  During the summer, I plan to run as many fun 5K races with my son as possible, and then pick a fall half-marathon. 

• I've rejoined my local YMCA.  It's small, dated, and way too warm and stinky.  It's also filled with really nice people who smile at you while you're dying on the treadmill.  It's a gym for the unglamorous sort, and that's certainly me.   I plan to crosstrain there two days per week.

•  I'm resurrecting this blog.   Peer pressuring myself by spilling my guts and sharing the highs and lows works for me.  If you are also struggling and in need of support, I certainly welcome any comments on my blog.  I need support with my own weaknesses, but I also love to give support to others who need it.

 It's time to get busy and move ahead.      I'm ready for another go of it.
 

I’ve tried to cut these corners
Try to take the easy way out
I kept on falling short of something
I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldn’t have ’cause
I’ve traveled all this way for something
I take it in but don’t look down
‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.

- Imagine Dragons "On Top Of The World"

So let it be written.  So let it be done.

 

Self-doubt

I was sailing through my marathon training, and was nearly done with Week 7 (of 18) of Hal Higdon's Novice 1 Marathon Training Plan when I, well, came undone.

Last week's plan:

Monday - Rest
Tuesday - 3 mile run
Wednesday - Jazzercise
Thursday - 6 mile run
Friday - Rest
Saturday - 12 mile run
Sunday - 3 mile walk

I had an amazing 3 mile run that Tuesday.  The weather conditions were ideal, and I felt strong and fit.  With a cool breeze and not even needing to carry water,  I decided to go for it, and see what I could do.  On a good day, I can run one mile at an 11min/mile pace.  Well, Tuesday was a great day because look what I did!

I was so proud,and felt all I am Woman Hear Me Roar/Chaka Khan/Wonder Woman. Just all good things!  

Wednesday's Jazzercise was great as always and Thursday's 6 mile run was tough (and warm!) but I maintained a decent pace and had a good run.  Everything looked promising for last Saturday's long run.  I hadn't run 12 miles in about six months, but I wasn't really too worried about it.

The way I told the story on Saturday afternoon was that I was just fine until mile 10, and then broke down mentally and physically.  My stomach acted up, my right hip was burning, my left knee hurt and I had the worst chafing from the back of my damn bra strap that you've ever seen. Yes, I know, TMI, but this is not a pretty business and I'm painting the full gross picture here.

But that's not how it really happened.   For two hours, I ran and kept a decent pace while my inner cruel master flogged me and grilled me with questions.

How are you ever going to be able to keep up with this training when you go back to work on Monday?
Right now, you are so busy you can hardly handle your life.  Your kitchen floor is filthy, and you have several undone projects around the house.

What about the boys?  G. is starting high school and his first season of high school sports.  S. is starting a new school too, and that's a whole new group of people to work with on his IEP, train for his equipment and needs.  Andy would love to help, but he works so much that he can't and you certainly can't burden him with any of this when he works like a dog. 

You really think you're going to get up and run at the buttcrack of dawn, go to work, come home and help S. with homework (and let's be honest - we are talking some grueling hours there), make it to all of G.'s games,  get  S. to his practices and dance classes, cook good and healthy meals for the family, and keep the house afloat while Andy works 12+ hours per day?

Are you insane, girl?

Oh, and it doesn't help that you are over 40 and still 40 lbs overweight.  What if you hurt yourself with this crazy marathon idea, and then you can't run anymore?   Like, at all? Is a marathon really worth hurting yourself and then not being able to enjoy running for fun and fitness for the next 20+ years?   You'd lose what's left of your mind and gain every pound back.  And probably a few more because you tend to go big or go home, right?

And, Damn!, this really does suck running alone on these long runs.  It's a bit lonely, and time crawls and don't you get a little tired of listening to your breathing and footsteps? Maybe if you could fix your damn play list and  stop listening to the SAME songs for the last 6 months this would all be easier?!

And the kids....again the kids.  Where's your favorite place in the world, Jen?  With your kids.  Is it fair for them to get even less of you?  You're going to go out for a 4 hour run on Saturday?  One of the few times in the week when you can actually be with your husband and your kids at the same time.  And let's not even talk about all the money you are dropping into this training - shoes, fuel belt, registration fees, hotel, etc - that money could go to the kids' activities and needs.

After 10 miles of this, everything gave out.   For the first time since I started running two years ago, I felt like I really couldn't run another step.  I had to walk 2 miles back to my car.  I was done, miserable, and so angry with myself.  And, of course, filled with self-doubt.

So where am I a couple of days later?  Still filled with doubt.  I have some  legitimate concerns to work through. The fact is that I will have great difficulty trying to accomplish my goal. While I don't think it's impossible, I've got to weigh this dream against everything I'd have to let go in order to make it happen.

Andy, as always, has been the best.  He used to call me "sweet stuff" (shut up! it's cute!).  Lately, he calls me me "tough stuff" instead.  He's always my best cheerleader.  My friends have been wonderful and supportive.  The kids are quite impressed with my efforts, and supportive as well.  I am a lucky and blessed woman. I feel the love every day.

For this week, I will continue training. Yesterday (Monday), I ran another 3 at a decent pace in some heat (11:25).  I had no unusual aches or pains and felt good.

I have until August 31 to transfer my registration from the full to the half marathon.  I don't want to view that possibility as a failure, and I'm working hard on that.

For now, I'm just going to carry on - work the plan, and hope it works for me.  One day at a time!

Where I've Been and Where I'm Going....Marathon Training Begins!

Photo courtesy of Muddy Shoes Photography

Last week, the boys and I enjoyed a wonderful vacation at a beach house in Nags Head, North Carolina with our very good friends.   We felt  incomplete since Andy couldn't join us, but we focused on the fun and really had a marvelous time.  

He loves his mommy ;-) (photo: Muddy Shoes Photography)

Kiddos at Jockey's Ridge(photo: Muddy Shoes Photography)

I had a lot of time to reflect while on vacation.   My big revelation:  There is a big difference between vacationing with your kids when you're fat/unfit and still-kind-of-fat/fit.

Duh!

During vacations past,  I often just existed as a smiling face in the background of photos.   I always had fun, don't get me wrong, but so many things were hard to do - it was hard to keep up with the kids when I was 100+ pounds overweight.  It was embarrassing to be seen in a bathing suit.  I skipped certain activities because I feared weight limits or was worried about being able to haul my fat ass up on a jet ski. There was a lot of looking on and smiling.  I enjoyed watching my kids, but I longed to be part of the action.

This vacation was so different.  Because Andy couldn't make it, I felt some extra pressure to step up.  I drove a jet ski! The life jacket fit, and there was no hauling of ass to get on - I simply hopped up.  (I really didn't care for the jet ski experience because fit or unfit,  I will always be a granny-type driver).  I still don't look great in a bathing suit, but I'm perfectly ok in wearing one, and swimming/playing/schlepping to the beach in one.  I climbed a lighthouse with my kids, and the 200+ stairs in intense heat and humidity didn't phase me.   I ran up the sand dunes without breaking a sweat.  And I enjoyed 4 glorious morning runs for a total of 13 miles.  I even logged my fastest mile (10:18) on a particularly hot and humid morning.    And this all felt good.  So, so good. 

Vacation success was just the boost in confidence that I needed because today is the day I start training for the Columbus Marathon (Note: although I haven't been Catholic in many years, whenever I say "I'm training for a marathon" I feel like I should make the sign of the cross over myself).

My initial plan was to follow Hal Higdon's Novice 1 Marathon Training Plan.

After some thought, I've tweaked that plan a bit to come up with my own training plan.  Here is my 18 week plan:

              Mon     Tues        Wed          Thurs       Fri       Sat         Sun
Week 1    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    3 miles    Rest    6 miles     Body Sculpting
Week 2    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    3 miles    Rest    7 miles     Body Sculpting
Week 3    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    4 miles    Rest    5 miles     Body Sculpting
Week 4    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    4 miles    Rest    9 miles     Body Sculpting
Week 5    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    5 miles    Rest    10 miles   Body Sculpting
Week 6    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    5miles    Rest      7 miles     Body Sculpting
Week 7    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    6 miles    Rest     12 miles   Body Sculpting
Week 8    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    6 miles    Rest      Rest         Half Marathon
Week 9    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    7 miles    Rest      10 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 10    Rest    3 miles    Jazzercise    7 miles    Rest    15 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 11    Rest    4 miles    Jazzercise    8 miles    Rest    16 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 12    Rest    4 miles    Jazzercise    8 miles    Rest    12 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 13    Rest    4 miles    Jazzercise    9 miles    Rest    18 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 14    Rest    5 miles    Jazzercise    9 miles    Rest    14 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 15    Rest    5 miles    Jazzercise    10 miles  Rest    20 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 16    Rest    5 miles    Jazzercise    8 miles    Rest    12 miles    Body Sculpting
Week 17    Rest    4 miles    Jazzercise    6 miles    Rest    8 miles      Body Sculpting
Week 18    Rest    4 miles    Jazzercise    2 miles    Rest    Rest          MARATHON!

I've made several changes to the plan.

1)  The original plan has you running 4 days per week including 3 runs Tues/Wed/Thurs.  I completely eliminated one run per week (the shortest one - almost always 3 miles throughout the training program, but never more than 5 miles) and replaced with a one hour jazzercise session.  I know this is a HUGE change, but one with which I am comfortable.  I think.  Gulp.  I do not run back  to back days, and I strongly feel that is part of the reason I've remained injury free for the two years I've been running. 3 runs in a row?  Nope.  Don't want to risk it.  If an experienced runner is reading this, and thinks I'm making a huge mistake I would love to hear from you.

2).  I believe jazzercise is a good replacement for the fourth short run.  The cardio is intense, plus I get some strength and ab work.

3) I will do a 50 minute "Body Sculpting" class at Jazzercise as my "cross training" day.   I've really enjoyed this class, and the work on my core.  I know core strengthening is pivotal to becoming a better runner.  My core is pretty much bread dough wrapped in marshmallow fluff.  It needs some work!

Overall, this plan seems pretty doable to me.  It's kind of crazy to look ahead at this point and see a week where I will run 10 miles, take a day off, and then run 20 miles.  Oh gosh, I'm doing the sign of the cross over myself again!

On the car ride home from North Carolina, the kids started to give me ideas for my marathon training/running play list.   Both boys think I should run across the finish line to Imagine Dragons' "On Top Of The World."  I love that!  (not to mention that I love their confidence that I will be running across the finish line!)  I told them I wasn't sure I can arrange that song to play at the exact time, and G told me not to worry about it - he'll bring a speaker and play it for me.  <3 p="">

Here goes nothing, folks!

Lucky In Love

One of my friends has a wonderful tradition to celebrate her loved ones on their birthdays.  She takes to facebook, and lists her favorite things about that person.  I love it.  We don't honor our loved ones enough like that. Why shouldn't we proclaim the depths of their awesomeness to the whole world?  Or at least to our corner of it?

Today, my husband Andy and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary.  We met at the end of our junior year in high school, and started dating during our senior year.  We were married a week after I graduated college.  I mean,  just look at us...babies!

May 21, 1994

In honor of this day,  I've made a short list of some of my  favorite things about being married to this man.

1). My husband is a grown-up. Evidently, there are guys who experience something called a
"man-cold"?  I've read about men who feign helplessness to get out of performing traditionally female tasks.  I've heard of men who seem perpetually stuck at 12 years old, and are coddled by their wives.  I've never witnessed these things first-hand because I'm married to a grown-up.  Don't get me wrong - you aren't likely to find a bigger goofball than Andy, but he's also a strong, secure, emotionally healthy, got-his-stuff together grown-up.  His legendary togetherness partners nicely with my legendary not-togetherness.

I need my grown-up husband because sometimes I'm a mess.
 Print from The Little Illustrator (Etsy)

2). My husband remembers things. He remembers dates, milestones and moments and then randomly  reminisces about them.  Like what I wore on our first date.  Or how, at three months old,  G.  was exactly the length of his forearm and fit so perfectly there.  Or the very moment he knew our youngest son decided to love him.  I can't think of a single thing that makes me feel more important and loved as his wife than this. 

3). He's predictable in the best sense of the word.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that predictable equals boring in a marriage. If there is a rough patch in life,  it's a guarantee that at some point Andy will kiss my forehead and say, "But we lucky in love, baby!"  If we are having a disagreement, I know he will say, "Never forget that we're on the same team, ok?"  My strong, predictable soft place to land.  Always.

4) He's an extraordinary father.  He would - and actually has -  traveled to the ends of the earth for his family.  He can tell you all about being alone for 36 hours on planes and in airports with a grieving toddler after the adoption of our youngest son.  For many years, Andy worked nights and was the at-home parent during the day for our children.  I worked during the day, and we really had no extra assistance day to day; no daycare, no sitters, no non-working available grandparents.  Andy did it all - doctor appointments, multiple weekly speech, occupational, and auditory verbal therapy appointments for our youngest, library story times, play groups, field trips.  And he did it all with very little sleep and great patience (this is actually when he coined another catchphrase:  "I'll sleep when I'm dead" (always said with a smile :-).  And while today he dispenses both sage and practical advice to his children, he's an even better listener and supporter of their dreams.  He's crafted such a close and beautiful relationship with our sons.  I don't think anything can make you happier as a mother than witnessing that kind of bond between your kids and their Dad. 

3.5 year old G. seeing his Daddy seeing at the airport after Andy's return from Cambodia with baby brother S . One of my favorite pictures of my husband though you can't see his face.  This look doesn't just happen - you earn it by being a very special father.

5)  He's my biggest fan.  I don't entirely get why he believes in me so thoroughly, but he does. I'm pretty sure if I announced today that I wanted to be a rodeo clown, Andy would tell me "That's perfect! You would be the best rodeo clown! What do we have to do to make that happen?"

6)  He really is a goofball, and my favorite friend.  We have a lot of fun together, as a family and as a couple.  Andy enjoys entertaining horrifying the children with his dance moves.  When they were little, he had them convinced that he did not work nights at UPS - he was really The Batman, and the bat cave was hidden in the backyard.  For the last few years, we've driven the boys to summer camp in New Jersey.  This has meant driving 40 hours in less a week - half with kids, and half alone.  Family fun for half that trip - Jen and Andy shenanigans and hijinks for the other half.  When you are married for nearly 20 years and you both look forward to a crazy long time in a car with each other, I guess things are going pretty well.

7)   He still gives me butterflies.   I love the little birthmark under his eye.  And his arms, once poetically described by a stranger as "f*cking Popeye arms".  And that he calls me Jenny sometimes.  And the way he always makes sure my car is filled with gas.  I love the way he plays the Blues on his bass on a Saturday night.  And all of those things listed #1-6?  Super hot.


I know you are totally about to gag now, right?   HA!

We do not have a perfect marriage, and we are not perfect people.  However, I think we are pretty good at loving each other. There are little things that Andy does that make me crazy.  And I am quite certain there are things I do that frustrate him as well.  But we try not to criticize each other.  I know Andy has made us his first priority.   He's made countless sacrifices for us, and the amazing thing is that he doesn't think of any of it as a sacrifice at all. Andy's life for the last 19 years has been a grand gesture of unconditional love, and I appreciate that every day. How can you really wig out about dirty clothes left on the bedroom floor when the big picture is so clear and good?

Next year we will celebrate our 20th Anniversary.   God willing,  it will be on a beach in Mexico with sun, sand, and tasty cocktails. 

A middle-aged couple still going strong. 

Because we lucky in love, baby!

I'm alive! and I have a plan!

It's been almost two months since I've posted to this blog.

Time flies when you're drowning in life!

Well, "drowning" isn't the right word, I guess.  Far too negative.

My cup runeth over!  Life is so very full!  I'm blessed beyond measure!

.......and I'm damn tired, and can't seem to find the time to put away all the laundry!

Spring is a busy season in our family.  Work picks up to a crazy pace for my husband. The kids are involved in a lot of sports and activities (track, multiple soccer teams, hip hop - including recital preparation).  School starts to hit that frenetic pace when every special project, field trip, field day, ceremony is jammed into the fourth quarter.

I love my life.  I love the fullness, and even the craziness at times.  I love that I have two healthy and active kids who embrace trying new things.  But I'm not going to lie - sometimes this fullness makes it very hard for me to slow down enough to focus on my own health and weight loss goals.

First, the good news:  I am a person who works out 4-5x per week.  Period.  It's what I do now, and I find a way to do it no matter what.  I still find this very cool as someone who avoided sweating for the first 38 years of my life.  Lately,  I've had to get serious about shoehorning workouts in wherever I can.   This means running in the neighborhood near the soccer fields while one of the kids is practicing.    Or racing home from work to get to a 4:30pm Jazzercise class, and then racing a child to a 6pm activity while I'm still a sweaty, gross mess.   It's meant a lot more crockpot dinners so that I can run at the time I would normally be preparing dinner.  And it's definitely meant getting up super early on both Saturday and Sunday to work out before starting the day with the family.

My longest run in the last few months.  Slow and steady, and a look at that calorie burn!

Now, for the less than good news:  Diet.  I've been struggling. I've indulged in more processed food.  We've been eating out about once a week - some celebratory meals but mostly due to the busyness of life, and I've been very lax about those meals. We've had a few more at-home cheapo date-nights, and the wine has been flowing as Andy and I have enjoyed binge watching Game of Thrones.  All of those things add up to 5 extra pounds according to my scale.

However, I finally feel back on track with diet.  Meaning it might not be a coincidence that today is the day I'm resurrecting my blog. Ha! I'm pretty excited because I just may have found the perfect approach to long-term health.

Mark Bittman is a food and cooking writer.  His classic book "How to Cook Everything" is one of my favorite cookbooks of all time - although, it's really much more than just a cookbook.  It's the best cooking reference book ever.

Bittman has a new book out based on a diet (lifestyle) philosophy that has worked well for him for weight loss and general health, and it just makes so much sense to me.

A real foodie, Bittman had no interest in giving up animal products forever when his doctor suggested that a vegan lifestyle would benefit him due to his emerging health issues.  Instead, Bittman came up with a simple way to bring much more of the good stuff, and far less of the bad stuff into his daily diet.   Bittman explains that the reason he chose to eat vegan only before 6pm is because dinner tends to be the most social meal, and would be the hardest time to not share the meals he loves with the people he loves.

The premise is simple - before 6pm (really before dinner - the time is arbitrary), Bittman eats no animal products - his diet is consists of fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts and legumes.  He also doesn't eat processed sugar or refined grains before 6pm.   After 6pm, Bittman eats what he wants within reason.  He still tries to greatly limit any processed junk food or alcohol, but will have those things without guilt if he really wants them.


I started the VB6 approach just four days ago, and so far I'm really loving it for many reasons.

1).  I really do enjoy a real food diet, and such a diet is important to me for health, ecological, environmental and even social justice reasons.    This is a great plan if those issues are important to you, too.

2). I enjoy simple rules.   Counting calories, points or carbohydrates really does not work well for me.  I want to eat intuitively, but still need guidelines to help me make better choices.

3). It works with my current lifestyle.  I already eat different breakfasts and lunches than the rest of the family.  With this approach, I can continue to make the dinners my family loves.  The majority of my dinners are based on whole grains, organic vegetables and lean meats, but I also make a mean Sweet and Sour Chicken, and Buffalo Chicken Casserole.  None of that is off-limits in this approach.

4).  It's not pulling any of my emotional triggers. With different approaches, I would feel a lot of guilt and hopelessness if I screwed up (ate something I shouldn't eat).  With this approach, I can't really screw up.  Each day starts anew.  Of course, every day does ;) - but I've tried a lot of diets where it didn't feel that way.  Weight Watchers, for instance, always seemed "One Week At a Time" to me with the focus on weekly meetings and weigh-ins.   If I screwed up one day, I was likely to throw in the towel for the entire week and that could snowball very quickly.  Now that's not Weight Watchers' fault - that's my fault, but it was a problem I consistently had with that program.  With this approach, if I'm a little overindulgent after 6pm - well, I'm back to veganing it up the next morning.  Something just feels good, and self-limiting with this approach.   I'm definitely at the beginning stages of this, but I also don't feel any desire to go crazy at dinner time just because I really can eat whatever I want.  Surprisingly, this plan doesn't make me feel like I need to eat whatever I want.   

Here's an example of what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:  Overnight Refrigerator Oats (Mix 1/4 cup quick cooking oats, 1/2 cup rice milk, handful of blueberries, packet of almonds, 1 tsp chia seeds, dash of cinnamon in mason jar and refrigerate overnight.  In morning, take out of fridge for 30 minutes to take chill off.  Eat and enjoy)

Lunch:   Big Salad (spring mix lettuce, bean sprouts, homemade whole wheat croutons, tomato) with red wine vinegar and oil. 1/4 cup tahini-free hummus and baby carrots.

Snack: grapes

Dinner:  2 cup serving of Mulligatawny Soup (chicken, butter and cream in this soup - all off-limits prior to dinner foods) and Ak-Mak crackers

Snack: 1/2 cup Trader Joe's' Honey Greek yogurt (the best greek yogurt, IMO) and a cup of hot tea.

A pretty satisfying and tasty day of eating!   I'm pretty optimistic about these guidelines, and definitely looking forward to taking off those 5lbs that crept up on me, and then moving forward with my greater goals.   I promise I'll be checking in sooner than two months from now.


Finally, on a totally unrelated note- Gotta share my new favorite running song (although not a new song).  Seriously...add this to your playlist, and fly! I 'm pretty sure I skip and wiggle when this one comes on, but I don't really care.

 

St. Malachi Race Report

 
To make a long story short - I DID IT!  I finished the 5 mile St. Malachi under an hour AND was treated to my entire delicious cupcake because of it.   Evil Andy foiled again! ;-)  It was a great day :)

I will admit I almost backed out at the last moment.  Andy and I were running late after dropping off the kids at an early morning soccer game and meeting up with my mom.  By time we got near the race, a lot of roads were closed because the 2 mile run had already started.  We couldn't get to the major parking lots, and were stuck looking for on street parking.   The weather was horrible at this point - 33 degrees and icy rain pelting the windshield.  Andy turned to me and half-jokingly said, "It's warm in here.  We have cupcakes and you already have your race shirt.  No one needs to know."

I swear that man is the bad angel on my shoulder sometimes!

But then he's also my good angel, too.  I gave him the old side-eye, and he knew I meant business. I would be running this race no matter what!  Andy then treated me to the most ridiculous rendition of Alicia Keyes' "Girl on Fire" while we looked for parking.  I love this man.

With 15 minutes to start, I jumped out of the car, and headed to the start line. But first I had use the  bathroom.  The line for the indoor bathroom was insane.

Right before the start of the race

This is the part of the story where I become a folk hero!   Just as I was nearing an open stall, a woman yells out, "All the toilet paper is gone!  All of it! In the entire bathroom!" (she seemed a little freaked).  I remembered that I had about half a box of kleenex shoved up my sleeves because I was so worried about my nose running during the race so I shouted back, "I have tissues! Lots and lots of tissues" And then I became a human kleenex dispenser with women pulling tissues out of my sleeves and thanking me.  Like these women LOVED me, and couldn't thank me enough.  It was all very touching, and I received many warm wishes for a good race, and was even told I was the nicest person EVER.  Women really value toilet paper.

By some miracle, I made it out to the start with a minute to spare, and by a greater miracle Andy found me in the crowd of thousands getting ready to run. He gave me a last minute kiss, hug and threat against my cupcake and off I went.

So many people running on such a yucky day! Runners are tough!

This was my first time wearing my new GPS watch for a race, and I can't stress how much I loved it and how motivating I found it to be.   The field was so crowded that I didn't even get to the starting line until 90+ seconds after the gun.  I was able hit start on my watch at the exact moment I crossed the start, and get an accurate pace for myself when I crossed the mile markers rather than just hearing the clock times shouted out.  I loved it!

After a quick turn down W. 25th street,  we turned again to cross the Detroit Superior bridge heading towards downtown Cleveland, and that's where it really became obvious that the conditions sucked. Bridges are the pits for running as far as I'm concerned - they seem harmless enough, but that slow, steady incline is killer.  And the wind is pretty bad too, especially on a day like this one.  The road was really slick, and there were many pot holes and big puddles.  I was sliding everywhere, and my feet were soaked almost immediately and I was regretting this whole thing. I was really hoping Andy wasn't taking my under 60 minute promise too seriously  because I was pretty sure I would be lucky to just walk this entire race. And that's when I saw it.

The crowd of runners thinned a bit and I found myself running behind a man whose shirt read "In Loving Memory of Katie Rees.  Fight the good fight.  Finish the race.  Keep the faith."  I started crying.  To an embarrassing degree; thank goodness it was raining. I promised myself right there I wasn't letting this man, this shirt, this memorial, these phrases out of my sight.  I had no idea how fast he was going to run - and prayed it wouldn't be too fast -  but I knew I was staying with him for the duration.

And I did....down W. 3rd,  all the way around Cleveland Browns Stadium, past the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, around Voinovich Park, down to Burke Lake Front Airport, and back again, I stayed behind him repeating in my head, "Fight the good fight.  Finish the race.  Keep the faith."

I tried to focus on the stories going on around me.  There are so many stories you see on a race day.  Some people make their stories perfectly clear  like the man in front of me running in Katie's honor.  Other stories you can only guess at, or maybe overhear, or kind of make up in your head. 

When I ran the Cleveland Half-Marathon last year, I ran several miles with a young, attractive, fit looking couple.   The girl was injured, and really struggling.  Every so often, they would stop, stretch, walk, then run again.  He was always encouraging her, and was incredibly supportive.  At mile 11, he put her on his back and ran over a mile that way in 85 degree heat.  That made me cry, too, and I thought to myself - Don't let this guy go!  Ever! He's a keeper!  This shit is more romantic than The Notebook!

During the St. Malachi Run, I saw two older women running together in green tutus, laughing all the way. race.  I saw two young men running together who gave a big ole "screw this" on the final pass back over the bridge, and instead happily called it quits, high-fived and ran down a big hill to the designated after-party bar in the Flats. Tee hee. I saw a father and his little girl - no more than 7 years old - running together.  She was getting tired, so as I ran passed I said, "You are impressive, young lady!  You are totally going to beat me!".  She smiled and said, "Yes, I am!" and took off like a shot.  Her Dad seemed really happy that she got a little extra boost.   I saw another Dad with a young teen daughter - she was slowing down, and he was running backwards trying to encourage her.  She was having none of it, as a 13 year old might, and told him, "OMG, Dad!  You are like the worst EVER!"  and "No. Just No.  You are too enthusiastic."  It was cracking me up and reminded me of some conversations I've had at home with my own teenager.  I saw another runner take a horrible tumble early in the race into a big, freezing puddle.  He was soaked.   Another runner who didn't seem to know him ran up, made sure he was OK, and gave him the pair of gloves off his own hands so that the soaked runner would at least have warm hands.

This is why I love runners and racing.   I am a generally positive person, and negative people baffle and exhaust me.  I can think of no other situation I can be in where there are just thousands of people gathered together, helping each other, and putting out such good positive energy.   It's indescribable, and just so good for the soul.

Despite the conditions, my race was going very well.  I was stunned when I hit the 3 mile mark at 32 minutes. This meant I was actually getting my first sub-33 minute mile 5K (3.1miles) even though it wouldn't technically count as such since it was a longer race.

As I came up on mile 4 and the big hill on West 3rd next to the Stadium, I started to lose steam, and had to stop and walk for about 20 seconds.   And *just* as I started to panic and worried about falling behind the man in the inspirational shirt, I noticed the song I was listening to on my iPod - Mumford and Sons "After the Storm":

Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
With grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.

 

Get over your hill and see what you find there. 

Get over your hill.  

Get over this hill. 

Fight the good fight. 

Finish the race.  

Keep the faith.

And I did.  As I came up to the bridge, I saw that I was at 51 minutes and had half a mile to go.  I had this!  I would finish under an hour.

My feet were numb at this point, but I just kept moving and hoping it would soon be over.  As I made the turn onto 25th, and could see the finish line, I also saw Andy just as he saw me.  He looked at me, he looked at the clock, and he started wildly clapping and yelling for me because he knew I was exceeding even my highest hopes for this race.   His joy and my own made me tear up AGAIN.  I freakin' cry a lot when I run!!

Bringing it in.  I swear I'm running!

I finished at 56:29 with an average pace of 11:18.

 And you better believe I enjoyed that WHOLE cupcake!!  Here is the embarrassing photographic evidence to prove it..

After the first bite.  This takes guts to post, people!

My next race is on Sunday, April 27 - The Cleveland 10 Miler.  This is a big one for me!  Every year this race has the most awesome shirts.  They always say "Run Like A God" on the back, which is the theme of this Hermes' sponsored race.  I. Want. That. Shirt.  I've wanted one since I've started running, and I am so excited to earn it next month!

My one non-grubby picture from Saturday.

Just like the movie Speed, but with a cupcake and no bus..and no one's in danger of dying or anything

This is my cupcake.

It is not "real food" in any sense.  It smells amazing, and is loaded with sugar and chocolate.   And booze.   It's an Irish Car Bomb Cupcake, and there is Guinness, Jameson and Bailey's in this here thing.  And it shall be mine after running the 5 mile St. Malachi Run tomorrow morning.

I first saw this cupcake last week at Grandma Campbell's stand at the West Side Market, and thought I NEED THIS. Oh yeah.  But I have to earn it first - I mean, I am in the middle of  weight loss contest  and all. Andy bought this little beauty for me today, and will have it at the finish line tomorrow as my reward.

I've been obsessed  talking about this cupcake since last week.  I 'm nervous about the  race because it's going to be cold, windy,  hilly and the weather forecast predicts 1-2 inches of snow may fall.  I hate all four of those things when I am running. So I definitely think a reward will be in order when I successfully complete my self-inflicted torture.

Andy and I have a playful marriage, and we're strange.   I just need to mention that first.

So....I've been talking about this race and this cupcake and my lofty goals with my husband.  I would LOVE to finish in under 60 minutes.  That would be good for me on a flat course with perfect conditions. Maintaining something under a 12 min/mile pace tomorrow might be impossible for me, but I'd love to go for it.

So my ever supportive husband is holding my precious cupcake hostage.

If I clock-in under 60 minutes, then she's all mine.

Come to Mama, you boozey sweet thang.

For every minute more it takes me,  Andy will take one nibble.  Of the cupcake.  Torturous!, silly, fun and motivating.

Andy's joking about the text messages he's going to send me during the race:

Get your ass moving! Or the cupcake gets it!

If you drop below 5mph, this cupcake blows up. What do you do? What do you do?! 
(because it is kind of like the movie Speed,  but with a cupcake, right?)


So tomorrow morning, there will be runners out there running for glory, personal satisfaction and charitable reasons, but I shall be running for the most important reason of all - a cupcake that can get me tipsy.  And I will do anything to keep that Snidely Whiplash of a husband from getting my cake. 

What's the point if you can't have fun, eh?

Post Race Report to Come!